Minor disclaimer again that I’m just reminding you folks of: All content, whether I post lyrics, soundfiles, artwork, or any other aspect of this album, is copyright 2007, 2011 Dana Detrick, Serious Vanity Music, and all rights are reserved! I’m an ASCAP baby as well, so don’t get any silly ideas (it’s not like you are, but just in case…) about taking any of these for any sort of use at all without my consent.
I first started songwriting when I was very young. I think I was around ten years old when I really started taking it ‘seriously’ (as serious as a ten year old can be) and keeping proper spirals and folders full of lyrics with little chords or notes scribbled on them. I’d studied Viola in school, so I felt I was familiar enough with music to make some sort of sense (and really, looking back on these pages, I can still figure out what I meant at the time).
I really loved words though, and I think when I started to teach myself guitar once I was old enough to really absorb it, it was mainly as a way to facilitate the songs I was penning. This was shortly after the spirals started appearing. I’d had a guitar since I was eight, but I can’t point to anything other than chaos that I was exhibiting on it. Don’t mock though, that’s an art in itself.
When I became a proper guitar “student” during the crazy late ’80′s/early ’90′s when you did that, lyrics became places to rest between wanky guitar solos. It really didn’t matter what you said; in fact, the more abstract or obtuse, the better. The bulk of what I wrote lyrically in college wasn’t even in English (which, with the exception of two semesters of French that I remember “J’amapelle Dana” from, is the only language I speak).
But I love words and more importantly, I felt like I once again had something to say. No “oooh baby” songs. Maybe some pretentious crap. But a message was there, and I wanted to go with it.
This has caused my arrangements to really pare down. I almost feel like I’m cheating sometimes. But you have to leave room. You can try to cram it in, but your message gets lost, unclear. Unless lack of clarity is your message.
So, since I have focused on talking about technical recording aspects so much so far, I didn’t want to leave the impression that this was just another cold, clinical, methodical pop record. All hook, no crook, so to speak.
When I first wrote the lyric to “Retribution Girl” years ago, it had a much different feel than what it does now. I was in a different headspace, certainly. It’s good to rewrite and refresh sometimes. I look back at a lot of the old drafts, and I was so angry, at no one in particular. Through that anger, I couldn’t express what I really wanted to (which I’m not even sure I was clear on at the time). I had a lot of false starts, where there’s just a stanza on a page, crossed out, left, re-dated with something new crossed out. It was a journey to get here.
What started as an image of an avenger became instead someone who was really just…over it. That living well is in fact the best revenge. That there was in fact some satisfaction in forgiveness, and it had nothing at all to do with that other person, thing, concept.
I could strap on my superhero armor
And be a retribution girl
I’ve got enough enemies
To fill my arsenal of bad guys
In my superhero world
’tis true. But who doesn’t? Victim or avenger? This is the choice.
But first thing’s first
I’ve gotta quench my thirst
On humanity and humility
The stuff that takes me out of it
It really does come down to “What are you going to focus on?”. Cheesy as it is, I do believe in the Law of Attraction, I’ve seen that work. It’s a popular philosophy right now because of The Secret, and I’m sure it will fall back to a more niche group soon enough (that I’ll still be part of), but I think currently this is something that represents not just me, but a lot of people trying to rid their lives of what they don’t want, in a proactive way.
I could wear a crown of thorns
And be a bruised and battered queen
Drag my cross behind me
Adorned with rock stars, wannabes
And everything in between
Probably subversive in some way (the hairs on the neck will always go up for some of if you use the Jesus symbolism), but it’s universal. The ultimate martyr symbol, now with an extra slice of cheese (which any “rock star” reference is guaranteed to deliver), on a whole wheat bun. Now, is it really adorned with “rock stars”? Anyone whose partaken in any local scene, any basement scene, any major scene that actually DOES have what is considered a rock star (which I think is a lost art) in it knows exactly what I mean. And for the rest, I hope I’ve conveyed it. As writers, we just put it out there. It’s only my job to say what I feel. Ideally, people will have some resonance with it. But if they don’t, or don’t care to try, then they’re not the audience for it. That’s art.
It doesn’t get me off
In the same way as that thoughtful stuff
So I guess I’ll let it go
And count my lucky stars again
I don’t necessarily believe in luck, but I’m very honest in this verse about how grateful I feel for changing course in my life. But saying it like that doesn’t lend itself to music very well unless you’re Christy Lane, so instead we have four lines here. There’s a dichotomy from going from rock stars to lucky stars that I think conveys some positive imagery amidst a pretty dark musical passage.
Somebody’s gonna make you pay
Someday you’ll wake up and see
Your crap got you where you are today
But that somebody’s not gonna be me
This is really the only part of the old song that I kept, because I wanted a little of the old me in there. This is pretty straight forward angry, and only one of two parts of the where I stop talking about my feelings and really just address someone else. It’s what I meant about forgiveness; that it’s more about letting the universe or karma take over. It’s not about the me in this scenerio. I still wanted some contrast, so this break is in the relative key of G Major from the key of E Minor that the rest of the song is. Not a big leap, but it does give it a bit of a different feel from the droning darkness that I’m illustrating everywhere else.
I go marching again
The voice of all the little girls
I wouldn’t expose to me
Even though I’m what they need to see
It’s ok to live in this world
You can make it your world
The last line is my other reference elsewhere, and is far less confrontational. It’s almost hopeful. Almost. And do you want your little girls to see that there’s ugly in the world? Part of having someone learn from your mistakes has to do with exposing them to those mistakes. It’s an innocence breaker, either way.
I’ve seen the worst
Put myself first
This is all about me
I’m so vain I bet this song’s about me
Well there you go. I was on a roll with a credible lyric, then I maxed out my cheese card by quoting either Carly Simon or Trent Reznor quoting Carly Simon, in a not-even-close-to-veiled reference to my label, Serious Vanity. I would give you permission to write me off at this point, but I actually am so vain to assert that indeed, it will be worth waiting it out. (I almost inserted some sort of annoying winkie emoticon here–but I’ll spare you those for now).
